My Rejection Letter from Fox News

As a comedian, I am usually asked to submit to comedy oriented TV shows, so you could imagine my surprise when I was asked to submit a writing packet to Fox News. I actually watched an episode of the show, and then made some content based on what I had seen. 

It was all rejected.

Thankfully they were nice enough to send me some feedback and notes. I've typed out the letter after the picture so it's easier to read.

Dear Mr. Craven,

    Thank you for your submission to the  Fox News content creation department. While we couldn’t use any of the headlines that you manufactured for us, I feel that you have a promising future in the business, and wanted to give you feedback on some of the headlines you did submit.

Barack Obama is stealing your Wifi!

    This is a great area to explore. Pretty much anything blaming Barack “Hussein” Obama of infringing on the things white people feel privileged to is a go. In this case, the content doesn’t work because of the regional specificity of the complaint. No one is going to believe that POTUS is sitting outside their house trying to log into their wifi.

Black people are wearing masks and impersonating white people, so shoot white people.

    Is this one true? If so then we’re all screwed. This is right in line with the kind of message that Fox prefers to spread to the American citizens, with one MAJOR problem. A lot of actual white people might get shot. Unless we re-institute the black face for white people program that we tried to start with Ted Danson. But with things the way they are in Ferguson, that might be a non-starter.

Jeb Bush creates program to use a flock of seagulls to carry Iran into space. Call’s it “Iran so far away.”

    We wish this was true, but most scientists (even the crazy christian ones) agree that this is not possible. While Fox will always do everything it can for the glorious Bush family, this is too easily debunked by “science” and those communists on the left love to use “science” and “facts” to destroy our material.

Like I said, you’re on the right track, so keep sending us new stuff. I look forward to your next submission.

 

                                            John Moody

                                     Executive Editor

                                             Fox News